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I Can Do Lots of Things; Except Control What Comes Out of my Mouth

Posted on February 8, 2011 by CM

Fucking Up IS Funny… it is!!!

Well I had another interview and well I’m a little rusty… well, a lot rusty.  I did great today but then near the end (after making it through like 7 people) I of course pull a typical open mouth insert foot move.  There are certain questions that I feel are totally a waste of time to ask because no one answers them honestly, except for me…

Where do  you see yourself in five years?   (thank god this one wasnt asked but thats the worst)

What do you feel is your biggest work related accomplishment?  I fucked this one up…

What is your biggest work related failure?  HAHAHA this was the bad one…. “Not understanding corporate politics better before accepting a corporate job”

bang bang… I’m so dead.  I think its pretty bad – even my recruiter hasn’t called.

Does anyone have any heavy duty tape so i can use it to tape my mouth closed?

Does anyone want to hire me? Anyone?

Anyone?

XOXO

MM

3 Comments

Posted in My Mediocre Life, Unemployment and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Football Season Is Over; Take Care of Your Dogs or Hire a Dog Walker

Posted on February 1, 2011 by CM

I’m talking to you Martellus Bennett. Yes, your bigger than me, yes, you could squash me like a bug but I don’t care. Not only have you caused hundreds of people in your neighborhood who work everyday to loose sleep you have now made everyone in your neighborhood hate you. Especially me.

The reason why I am so mad is because your your dogs bark day and night and have been since I have been staying in your neighborhood.  Eight weeks have gone by, Martellus, and your dogs are STILL barking day and night.  I know that you have been notified several time that the barking is a problem.  It disgusts me that you choose to do nothing.

Peta seems to stand behind you though… interesting.

Neglect is the only explanation for the constant barking day and night. Do you need a dog walker?  I used to be a NYC dog walker and Ill only mark up my NYC prices 150%, just for you.  I hear that you have a passion for the same hobby as every dog lovers favorite villain, Michael Vick.

You make me sick and the fact that you are above the law because you are a professional athlete is absolutely ridiculous.  Well, football season is OVER and your dogs are STILL barking day and night…night and day.  I feel like coming over there and telling you what I think of you personally but clearly, you’re never home.

According to neighbors your dogs have been barking since last January.  Come the fuck on.  I know you’re young and chasing pussy is way more fun than chasing your dogs around but can’t you at least find some dog loving pussy so someone will pay attention to your dogs?

Maybe you should watch this youtube video so you can think about how you are treating your dogs.  Maybe even feel compelled to use your celebrity for something positive instead of going down the same road as your pal, Michael Vick.

From your Neighbors from the side of the fence with manners

If you live in Valley Ranch and have been losing sleep over this you can contact :

The Manors at Valley Ranch Management 972-960-2800

Animal Control 972-721-2256

Non-Emergency #972-273-1010

My Chihuahua Hate Martellus Bennet

 



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Posted in Dogs, Texas and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

I’m Always Wrong, Shouldnt be Allowed to Make Decisions AND i’m a terrible Luch Date

Posted on January 25, 2011 by CM

Wow. The older I get the stupider I feel.  I have had to live with the fact that I am hard headed and decided to learn every life lesson the hard way.  Lately, I have realized that  I have been the most ungrateful person.  I have realized that I was pretty on the outside but ugly on the inside.  I had a terrible night on Thursday night and spent the whole of Friday crying.  I promised an old friend I would go out with him on Friday and haven’t seen him in years so made myself suck it up and just go out.  I think that was the only good decision I have made in a long time.

I ran into a lot of old friends on this evening out.  It wasnt awful like I envisioned it in my head it was wonderful and everyone was very nice and it was a fun evening all around.  The scary part of this evening was well, scary and something unexplainable and totally, ummmm, something that was not controlled by me.

I went to say hi to an old friend.  I had been feeling like I needed to see him and I had written him several unsent emails in the past but I had no idea that seeing him would turn me into the worst kind of fruit loop on the planet.  It was the most bizarre thing ever… really… he was playing on stage and I was waiting for them to finish so I could say hi.  I saw him and he hugged me and suddenly I was one of those stepford puppets… or whatever they are.  He hugged me and I was dumbfounded. Stupefied.   I’m always in control.  NOT at this moment.  I didnt really know what was happening at this point I do remember one of the girls that was out with us coming over to me and grabbing my wrist and dragging me out of the bar.  I was just standing there like a jack ass.

At this point I was a puppet and someone else was the puppet master controlling this entire situation.  My face hurt from smiling too much.  (those of you who know me know that I am not a smiley person-I am most known for my complaining).  I hate to feel feelings.  I hate telling the truth.  The force in the air that night was pushing me to think otherwise.  I am back on the bus where all my friends are having pizza and suddenly I realize I am smitten and head over heels in some sort of love trace with with person who I went on a few dates with in the past and havent seen in years.  I liked him A LOT back when we first went out but I was too cool for school back then.  My girlfriends were making fun of me for having public displays of affection with this person…   I was self-centered and in my twenties I didnt know any better…

Seeing him now… ummmm…. well, he is the most attractive man I have ever seen and well the sexual chemistry is umm, errr, uhhh out of this world.  What the FUCK?  This is like terrible timing.  What am I supposed to do now?  I can live in denial like I always have… WRONG.   Not only do I embarrass myself and tell this person exactly how I feel I then proceed to stalk him like some pathetic love sick puppy.  I think he might possibly be considering a restraining order at this moment.

Whyyyyyyyy is this happening to me now? Really?  Make it stop. Make it go away.  NOPE. No such luck.  This person is going to distract me, invade my thoughts and somehow force me to unload truth and honesty.  The truth and honesty is coming out like word vomit.  Gross.  Isnt there a pill for this?  Please… Im ashamed of the pathetic retard I have become.  I am actually kind of enjoying this… thats really sick.

Who is controlling this situation?  I know the wizard is behind a curtain somewhere making this happen…. please can you make me stop acting like a desperate love sick puppy?  I dont want to be on that creepy sex offenders list.   Cant I turn this channel off somehow?

I want answers and I want them now.

My stomach hurts… from the delicious drink that got me drunk at lunch.   Thank you for making me make a fool of myself…. I think its best that I stay in tonight.

 

Love Carla.

 

 

 

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Posted in Dating, My Mediocre Life, Texas and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

New Career Paths, Almost as Much Fun as the Yellow Brick Road

Posted on January 14, 2011 by CM

Dallas Craigslist was full of interesting job opportunity’s today… I thought I would share a few in case you are looking to make a total career change and can’t seem to find any appealing options.

Happy Job Hunting.

XO Carla

Gondolier- Sing, Drive a Boat, $$$$ (Irving)

Date: 2011-01-13, 10:15PM CST
Reply to: job-tw5y5-2159521497@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Gondola Adventures is currently hiring. We are looking for Part-Time to Super-Part time employees. Open to hiring up to three individuals if you are what we are looking for. This job is one of the best ones I have ever had in my life and think its something most people would enjoy. Base Pay is around $10 an hour plus tips. Tips can get pretty big but are definitely consistent. Must be able to SING – one romantic song – MUST have own transportation. Work hours are inconsistent, flexible, and really on choice. I will offer gondoliers cruises and they can choose to take them if they want them. It really is the perfect part time extra cash job. We start our new gondoliers out on electric gondolas that are super easy to learn and drive. We hire men and women and I can’t wait to add a couple more wonderful people to my team. Check out what we are about on Gondola.com.

PostingID: 2159521497

LEGO MODEL BUILDER NEEDED! – Interviews & Competition 1/22 (Dallas)

Date: 2011-01-14, 11:16AM CST
Reply to: see below

Are you a long-time LEGO fan? Would you like to get paid to play with LEGO bricks on a full-time basis? Do you enjoy working with children? Are you 18 or older? Become the Master Model Builder at the LEGOLAND Discovery Center located at Grapevine Mills, Texas. This is the second LEGOLAND Discovery Center to open in the U.S. and is a giant indoor LEGO world that is opening in the Spring of 2011. This is a unique job for a unique person!

Applicants must be able to build complicated LEGO models for a wide variety of LEGOLAND attractions including, but not limited to miniature scale models and life sized organic models and will be evaluated on such. Applicants must have a flair for the use of color and ability to copy LEGO models from 3D prototypes, 2d drawings and computer files. Must have a friendly personality with the ability to lead LEGO building sessions for groups of children. The ideal builder will represent our attraction in a number of events, including but not limited to marketing/PR events including with the media. Applicants who meet these requirements will be invited to compete in the Brick Factor which is a ‘build-off’ to determine who will be the LEGOLAND Discovery Center Master Model Builder.

Interested candidates are encouraged to visit our website at www.legolanddiscoverycenter.com for more information and to register for the Brick Factor. Interviews and the Build-Off competition will be held from 1pm on January 22nd at the American Airlines Center in Dallas followed by the finals for the successful candidates at the Grapevine Mills Mall on Sunday 23rd January 2011. Should you wish to pre-register, please complete your application on-line at www.merlincareers.com or at www.legolanddiscoverycenter.com Participants should expect to spend a majority of their day at the venue for the process of becoming a Model Builder. Additional information regarding necessary forms and venue information is available on the website.

Those unable to visit us online may request additional information by sending a self addressed stamped envelope to the following address: LEGOLAND Discovery Center, Grapevine Mills Mall, 3000 Grapevine Mills Parkway, Grapevine, TX 76051. The selected Master Model Builder should expect to start in early February, after the ‘Brick Factor Finals’ and interview process and must be available to travel for training at LEGOLAND Discovery Center Chicago or LEGOLAND California with fellow Master Model Builders.

Please bring all information including application, disclosure form, signed rules and regulations, resumes, portfolios or examples of your creative abilities to the building event on Saturday January 22nd. We will not accept any information from applicants other than pre-registration earlier than January 22nd. Those who are unable to pre-register are encouraged to attend the event between 12noon and 1pm for a chance to participate in the interview process.

LEGOLAND Discovery Center is an indoor attraction designed for families with children aged 2 to 12. Activities range from hands-on LEGO play to theme park-like attractions such as a dragon ride, adventure trail and 4D cinema incorporating fantastical LEGO creatures and LEGO-based special effects.

Equal Opportunity Employer.

PostingID: 2160199475

 

Super Duper Pooper Scooper Wanted (Mid-Cities)

Date: 2011-01-14, 12:34PM CST
Reply to: servicerequest@doodycalls.com [Errors when replying to ads?]

Fast growing pet waste removal company seeking reliable hard working people to join our team. Must have completed some college, flexible schedule, internet access, and reliable transportation. $10-12/hr. We work outside in the heat, the rain and the cold! Our new team member will need a clean driving record, must be responsible, courteous, and able to get along well with people and pets! Please see www.DoodyCalls.com to find out more about us and sudmit an application online. 1-800-DoodyCalls.

PostingID: 2160382103

 

Seeking Cupid (Dallas)

Date: 2011-01-12, 12:31PM CST
Reply to: gigs-znh6w-2156817140@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

We are seeking a male, under 30 years old, to dress and act as Cupid. We are hosting a singles mixer party on Valentine’s Day, Monday February 14 from 6 pm to 10 pm. Cupid will wander around the party and shoot couples with foam arrows. Costume will be red shorts, no shirt, bow and arrows (costume provided). Pay will be $400 for the night. Please send contact info and current photo if interested.

PostingID: 2156817140

Looking for Tree Climbers (Plano, TX)

Date: 2011-01-06, 10:16AM CST
Reply to: gigs-mfdax-2146576659@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Tree company is looking for an experienced climber for work in the Plano area.
If you do not live in the area please do not apply.

PostingID: 2146576659

 

Females For Pantyhose Wrestling Team (DFW)

Date: 2011-01-17, 1:09AM CST
Reply to: gigs-rhzjk-2164450398@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

The title says it all. Locations and venues change each week ..some travel (paid)an option for out of town events.. Must be comfortable and enjoy showing off. Some athleticism is a plus. No experience needed. Uniform is a full Pantyhose sheer Body suit.Think more eye candy not hardcore wrestling so if you have looks we can train you.
All sizes and shales welcome to apply. $300 an hour plus $50 more for the winner of each match..Please send pics and stats . for consideration.This would be an average of 1-2 nights a week . MUST be 18

PostingID: 2164450398

Are you OBSESSED with lawn gnomes? (Nationwide)

Date: 2011-01-14, 11:34AM CST
Reply to: casting@20west.tv [Errors when replying to ads?]

Are you COMPLETELY OBSESSED with lawn gnomes?

Do you have a lawn gnome collection that is slowing taking over your
yard and home?

Do you have the compulsion to want to take or buy lawn gnomes whenever you see one?

Are your friends and family absolutely SICK and TIRED of your lawn gnome obsession?

If this sounds like you or someone you know, a major network documentary series is interested in hearing the story. All participants must have friends and family willing to
interact with one another on camera and also be open to seeing a professional.

For consideration, please reply to this ad by stating your name, age, current city, contact information,
recent photo and brief summary about how your lawn gnome obsession is taking over your life!

Thank you and we look forward to hearing from you soon.

PostingID: 2160247995

4 Comments

Posted in craigslist, Texas, Unemployment and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

My Name is Not Carla, Inc.

Posted on January 13, 2011 by CM

Seriously I don’t have the energy to have as many costume changes as fitting in, getting a good job or getting some guy to put a ring on it requires (mostly because I don’t like the costumes).  Is it really fucking necessary to have your own personal ” gimmick”?  I guess if I were Justin Beiber or some other annoying Disney do-gooder I would need a gimmick.

Whats wrong with just being yourself?  Is that really so terrible?  I already have a hard time censoring myself during the times I am supposed to be on my best behavior so why in the world would I want to do that in my off hours?  Unrealistic expectations people… the truth is going to come out eventually.  I would much rather know what I am getting into in the beginning.  I dont want to fall for some “marketing gimmick”.

I am probably single because I don’t have a solid marketing gimmick.  I bet the women on that show Snapped fell for someone with a gimmick.  How can you establish trust in a relationship if you are using a used car salesman approach to every area of your life.  If being alone for the rest of my life means that I am just one marketing plan away from making all my dreams come true then I can live with that.  I am proud to be -  single and gimmick-less .  My advice to you… lose the gimmick, buy a dog.

Carla

What is your gimmick?

According to Wikipedia, a gimmick is a quirky feature that distinguishes a product or service without adding any obvious function or value. Thus, a gimmick sells solely on the basis of distinctiveness and may not appeal to the more savvy or shrewd customer.

In marketing, product gimmicks are sometimes considered mere novelties, and not really that relevant to the product’s functioning, sometimes even earning negative connotations. However, some seemingly trivial gimmicks of the past have evolved into useful, permanent features. According to the OED, the word is first attested in 1926, defined in the Wise-Crack Dictionary by Main and Grant as “a device used for making a fair game crooked”.

Finding a successful gimmick for an otherwise mundane product is often an important part of the marketing process. For example, toothbrushes are often given various gimmicks, such as bright colors, easy-grip handles, or color-changing bristles so they appear more exciting to consumers. This is often done when trying to appeal to children or excitable adults, who often get more excited about the gimmick than the product.

Major product features which are poorly designed become known as gimmicks to the product users. Plastic devices often suffer from weak structural components or fragile construction, leading to deforming and cracking of the over-strained and poorly engineered mechanisms. This leaves the owner with the basic functions of the item and the gimmick disabled or, in the case of very cheaply produced products, the gimmick broken completely from the main body of the item.

This is becoming a more frequent question. Do gimmicks and routines work when picking up women in bars or anywhere else? Some people may find this silly or pathetic, others will swear by the routines they learn or develop to attract girls.

I remember learning a few classic tricks or routines like asking a girl to think of a number between 1-10 and guessing the number (its almost always 7) or using some classic opinion openers that I didn’t make up myself. My success rate with some of these methods and routines were quite high and others were a 50/50 proposition.

On the other hand, many guys just socialize and make with the lighthearted banter and seem to attract women just as easily without routines. So what gives, are gimmicks like the murder, marry, shag game lame and useless?

Sorry guy, the answer to this one is not a cut and dry yes or no! There is a gray area were natural attraction and routines and gimmicks meet.

First I suggest learning from many sources when it comes to learning how to interact with women. When you come across several different perspectives you will have a more complete understanding of the why instead of just the how.

Now there are a lot of different tactics and routines like canned openers (for striking up an engaging conversation), memorized conversational threads, neg hits (playfully teasing a girl as if there is something wrong when there isn’t), disqualifying, (showing that your not too eager to please) and so on. All these tactics or routines can be very valuable tools and highly effective, but there is a catch!

The catch is all these tactics and others must come from the right place and in the right context. In other words they are only methods of projecting an attitude and belief of a confident high value man, women find attractive. Your inner beliefs and proper attitude is what makes gimmicks and routines effective.

The reason for this is because your attitude affects the tone of your voice, facial expressions, and body language without you knowing it. You can “say the right things” all night long and still hear crickets, because the attitude you say it with is all wrong.

Becoming more social and successful with women can be intimidating. You may wonder how I am just going to start feeling confident around women instantly? Again the way to eliminate your fear and feelings is a two-pronged attack. First, as mentioned above, study from many perspectives. Your beliefs and attitude towards interacting with women will change. As you gain more perspective you will become more socially intelligent while learning in the field.

So learn some fun tricks, gimmicks and routines, but know were they should be coming from inside you and how to properly deliver them. Having fun with games and gimmicks is effective, just learn something from them. Try to understand why they are so fun and effective with women. Then you have taken something valuable from the experience. You can then employ what you learned on the fly and in a more authentic way!

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About Author:
This article is from the article archives dedicated to improving men’s dating and sex lives, with knowledge from the worlds top experts.

More “Expert Advice”

Another Gimmick

This guy packages his gimmick as “boosting dating confidence”


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The Soundtrack with Magic Powers

Posted on November 23, 2010 by CM

Happy Thanksgiving.  Lucky for all of my friends – since I have been evicted none of you will be forced to dress up as a Pilgrim or a turkey but don’t worry this distraction is only temporary. Since I wont be tormenting anyone I decided that I would write a post saying what I am thankful for – my girlfriends (this includes Chihuahuas named Chloe).

Love you all. Happy Thanksgiving!

PS

I made a mix CD for my beautiful friend N.B. – I hope you are doing well – I am thinking of you and made you this CD.  If you listen to it over and over I hear it has superpowers.

Girls Have Superpowers

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Running Down A Dream is not for Girls who Failed Gym Class

Posted on November 10, 2010 by CM

Getting that big impressive title and corner office is the “American Dream,” right? Or so you thought or so we are taught.  How come no one tells you that the dream you feel obligated to chase doesn’t even exist?

 

Chasing that dream really means you must accept a great entry level  job kissing some white guys big white ass in Corporate America.  If you want to advance then you had better “know people who know people, babe” if you don’t, I hope you like giving blow jobs because your only other option will be to blow “those people”  after you blow them then maybe, just maybe will you be granted access to this exclusive group of overpaid Neanderthals.  Don’t get too excited because the odds of you getting fired are much higher than an acceptance letter to this exclusive club.

 

If they do fire you they will tell you that you just aren’t a Team Player and send you on your way, consider yourself lucky.  If they decide to dangle that carrot and let you in you had better be willing sell your entire soul to the corporate devil.  Once the deal is done and you get that position keep your opinioned mouth shut.  Corporate Executives can’t have you infecting other people with your nonsense and free thinking.  They will not tolerate you teaching others how to think for themselves.

 

If you refuse to abide by these rules and choose not to become a brainwashed fool then you can expect to be kept busy and to get called into a lot of  “meetings”.  These meetings are code for lots of inappropriate demeaning sexual comments and lots of ass groping. Then if you’re really lucky one of those Neanderthals you work for will follow you into the ladies room for some serious hanky panky.  You can choose to oblige his request or “accidentally” throw up on his recent hair transplant and Ed Hardy shirt.  Choose wisely though because unfortunately, both options lead to the same outcome.

 

I suggest that you go home and immediately and update your resume – not only are your days numbered but that douchebag that you threw up on or messed around with is about to get a huge promotion for taking full credit on an idea that was one hundred percent yours.  He will get rewarded for proving what a guys guy he is for violating the sexual harassment policy. To ensure victory he will tell everyone that you are in love with him therefore making you look crazy and leaving you with no credibility.  Trust me – he won’t ever feel guilty for trying to molest you or for stealing your million dollar idea so get out of there as soon as you can, don’t stick around hoping things change.

 

If you didn’t take my advice and you are still there when your idea comes to fruition you’ll snap when they do the unthinkable – assign cheesy corporate slang to every step in the procedure of your stolen idea.  After your meltdown they will take notice that you seem to know an awful lot about this confidential new idea and will decide to sue you for stealing trade secrets.  No one will stand up for you or even try to stop them.  In the end that corporate jack ass will win and still get credit for your idea and all you will get is a visit the unemployment office.

 

Don’t feel bad about yourself It’s not your fault that your former boss was secretly a pedophile and had the personality of a roll of toilet paper.  Be glad you are out of there because too bad, so sad; your pussy isn’t for sale.  Picking up dog shit for the rest your life would be more rewarding than helping any overweight sweaty pervert get rich.

 

So, my advice to you is “always carry a video camera in your pocket” if you want to get your dream job.  But don’t forget to consider the possibility of your dream job turning out to be a total fucking nightmare.

 

I guess what I am trying to say is before you start chasing your dream job first, make sure it’s your dream.

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I Don’t Wear a Halo & Even Cher Cant Turn Back Time

Posted on November 6, 2010 by CM

Since I am cleaning out the closet I am also taking responsibility for the hurtful things I have done and apologizing.   I dont expect forgiveness or deserve it but I have seen the damage I have caused and learned from it.  I will never and I mean never make this mistake again.

I have been having an affair with a married man which is something that is against everything I have ever stood for.  It  makes me a traitor to my own beliefs.  I was weak and allowed myself to be pulled into a situation that got way out of hand.   When it did I was too ashamed to tell anyone therefore giving myself two options.  Death or putting shame aside in order to not let this be the person who takes me down.

I dont wish the person who caused me this pain any ill will.  I wont seek revenge on this person.   He has to live with himself and that’s enough.  I would rather spend my time taking baby steps to fix my own life and turning this story around so the ending can have a happy fairytale ending that not only I deserve but that the person I am writing this apology to.

Seeing the pain I have caused her and her family has inspired me to be a better person and to hopefully inspire others to follow my lead. 

MM

 

Dear H,

 

I have been contemplating contacting you everyday.  I think about you quite often and I wish there was something I could do or say to tell you that I really am sorry for everything that happened. I stay up nights crying because I feel so terrible for causing pain to people who absolutely didn’t deserve it. Shame, desperation fear and depression are the cause of my poor decisions.  I will never be able to forgive myself because I know just how deep the pain I caused you is.  My life has been filled with this kind of pain and because of what I did it makes me just as despicable as the people who hurt me.

I have cut off all communication with your husband and when he is not at home with you its not always me he is with.  He doesn’t have use for me anymore and all I ever wanted was a chance to work and get back on my feet so I could get back to following my dreams.  This is not what I had in mind. I dont have a family or anywhere to go for help so when you are alone the list of options are short.  I made a bad decision that I cant take back. I dont have anyone to blame but myself and I am not telling you any of this for compassion, I am telling you this so you know that I am very aware of the pain I caused and did not have malicious intentions.
The last couple of years of my life have been a living hell. The pain is so deep and I wouldnt wish this on anyone. I will receive the payback I deserve and I will be alone with options so please dont think that I have benefited from this situation.  I was so in love once and all my dreams had come true – it was everything I ever wanted but when that happened I threw it away.  I had only known pain and it was so overwhelming to me that I didnt know how to process it.
When I found out that I was pregnant with The Presidents baby I was so happy and even though we had just broken up I was so excited because I wanted to have a family with the love of my life.  He and I were on good terms and I knew he would be a great father.  When I lost that baby part of me died.   I have never ever in my life felt such excruciating sadness and never thought it possible. I was staying with a “friend” when that happened who to console me said “if I were you I would want to kill myself too.”
Directly after that happened is when your husband came back into my life. I was in mourning and wished everyday when I went to sleep that I wouldnt wake up the next day. On an ordinary day I would have never overlooked the pain my friendship with him might cause you or your family.  I know that Im sorry isnt enough but I live with this everyday.
I wont have any contact with your husband ever again because I cant take anymore pain.  If he treats me the way he does I cant imagine how he treats you – I hope its better because he has hurt me more than anyone ever has.  From what I know about you I think you are a good person – he doesnt deserve you.
Carla

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Dear Bad Egg, There has Been a Change in Plans

Posted on November 6, 2010 by CM

I know I told Bad Egg that my other letter would be the last words she would hear from me but I felt that my first letter failed to at least generate a little bit of emotion… so I thought I would point out a few more things… For real this is everything I have left to say to her.  I can now move on to fighting the other villains in my life who have been trying to keep me down.

I hope that one day she will see that jealousy and hate are ugly qualities to have.  If she doesn’t she is going to end up being very lonely therefore backfiring her plan of keeping me down and making it her fate.

MM

Dear Bad Egg,

As usual your response only addresses anything that has to do with stuff or money. Youre so deep be careful not to drown.

I’m sick to my stomach that you are so self absorbed that what I said has no effect on you. I think it’s scary that you are a person who is so intelligent and so empty at the same time.

You never once addressed the despicable things you did for fun to spite me. Like that one time, you threw my stuff in storage without even talking to me or allowing me to at least move my things so I at least could move them properly so I could at least know I could find something if i needed. You’re so hateful that you threw my stuff in a pile on a floor in a storage building. Your actions only show that you have about as much concern for Me as the trash in your trash can.

MH likes you because that is how he  handles his relationships with people. That is something that shows you have no character, no respect, no empathy.   You wont ever even see this because you are so self-absorbed that there will never be any room for a thought or emotion that didn’t involve something other than you.

You want to talk about money then don’t just don’t mention calculations that add up in your favor.

It’s funny you always conveniently forget when you threw me out like the trash you wish I was that you benefited from the extra prizes you allotted yourself that you absolutely don’t deserve.

You know you should have paid me for the paint in the rent house. You know that it was a gift meant for me not but you dont care b/c there’s no way to return a gift like that. You not only got a beautiful painted house you even took credit for doing the work yourself. It’s pretty sad that you are so empty that you can’t come with something that isn’t a lie.

You knew I had no money b/c I invested the money I had to furnish our apt. It was more than 1000. Most of the stuff was given away or thrown away because it was impossible to sift through in the storage pile it was in.

I paid for a deposit then got kicked out of a place conveniently directly after I finished cleaning. I was treated like a common maid the entire time I stayed with u at your dads and that shows how highly you think of me.

I give you all my dog and people hand me downs and you give yours to anyone except me. You even give the ones you take from me to make yourself look oh so generous.

Yawn.

You offered to buy the car back and you know damn well I can’t sell it.

I sent you a housewarming gift and all you can say is something about the spelling being weird. I don’t recall your masterful creative mind coming up with that nickname… There isn’t any room in your head for creative ideas b/c that would mean giving the selfish ones a break.

It doesn’t matter what you do I’m regards to my stuff b/c I won’t have a home for very much longer. I won’t have a phone or email either so you can live with a clear conscience b/c I won’t be able to contact you. Outta sight outta mind.

You will be pleased to know that I had another miscarriage. Since I was stranded with a car that MH purposely left un drivable I walked to and from the hospital. Since he stopped paying me and my bills I couldn’t even fill the prescription.

It will please you to know that MW has treated me with the same kindness you once showed me and lucky you… you win the bonus  prize of enjoying the fact that I had to endure this pain twice not once.

The two of you are missing your true calling in life as motivational speakers.

Why bother acknowledge my birthday this year b/c I’m one step away from suicide?  That would have risked you winning the grand prize, your 15 min of fame acting like you are devastated your “best friend” is gone.  Clueless as to what went wrong… Save that  birthday present money  and rest up.  Use the money for a dress for my funeral so you can look your best when you perform at my funeral then dramatically crying on MW’S shoulder.

I hope that all your dreams come true because no one deserves it more than you.

Mediocrity Mockery

Here is a good blog post about girlfriends

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Posted in Believing in Fairy tales, My Mediocre Life, Texas and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

A Goodbye From Bad Egg

Posted on November 5, 2010 by CM

Every egg has their say.  After months and months of me being silent and abandoning everyone in my life because of the affects that my relationship with Bad Egg and MH the Evil Villan. I have decided to share this because I think that everyone should spend more time self reflecting and learning to admit when they are wrong.  If you learn from mistakes and take the time to think of others then maybe you see that being selfish and self-centered is actually kind of boring.

Life is lonely when you dont have real friends – you know the kind that you call who will help you no matter what with no questions asked because they can ask questions later after they come to your rescue.  A friend who doesn’t first calculate whats in it for them or make sure they arent missing out on something more important than you.  Friends  Like Thelma & Louise or Mary Ann & Wanda.  If you girls would remember this you would see that girls have superpowers when stick together.

MM

 

Dear Mediocrity Mockery,

I read your email and am sorry for this. I do not wish hate on you just like you wish no hate for me. I am glad to hear that you are back on top and ready to go full force ahead. I can return your laundry basket and bra immediately. If you would like the memory top and pillows and feel that giving them to me was a mistake then I will give them back to you too.

I did not make the list for MH because I was not sure at that point if he could file it on the house. I did not ever hear from you for sure that the homeowner’s policy covered theft. I can make you that list for him if you like. I just have to write it down because we all get busy and forget to do things sometimes- and that is something that I honestly forgot to do.

Car guy has not called me so I am not sure if the car is ready or not.I really could not help you with your rent and I am sorry for that, I had no idea that my renters would put me in the hole this much. I have not even been able to pay for my rent house for october and that is a very bad thing, now they just told me that they can only send 600 dollars and already owe me for November as well, plus I will have to pay their electric bill this month too and those are always around 250 a month. Then of course if they have no money after november then i have to take them to court, and pay the rent house and my own house out of just my little part time job.

I really would have liked to help you the other day when you asked but at this time I am really scraping by. At this rate I am fixing the car  just to make a much bigger loss on it than you will, you at least will get every dollar that you put into it back out of the car, and I will only get about 1/4 of what I put into it. That is just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes. I know that your note did not mention the volvo and i do not want you to think that all i think about it money, but i would have liked to help you more if i could is all that i am saying.

Anyway, I know that i will not hear from you anymore as a friend or an enemy, but as just someone that you used to know. I just have to deal with that. I do expect us to be civil and calm around each other and take care of this unfinished car business in a pleasant manner. I can drop off your stuff for you if you like, and just put it at your door and you can mail me the volvo stuff and i can handle it for you if you like since you said that you are not very good at selling cars. Or we can sell it together and just be amicable around one another. Just let me know what you would like me to do. If I get any extra money and can just buy you out like i initially planned then i will go ahead and do that. Thank you for your email I know it is much better than getting the silent treatment.

DB

Also see Good Bye Bad Egg and Can A Clean Freak and A Dirty Bird Be Best Friends

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Posted in Believing in Fairy tales, My Mediocre Life, Texas and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.
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