Girl Power

Girls Have Superpowers – Gift Baskets that Inspire, Empower and Give Back

I am safe while writing this and I have ten dollars to my name and that’s ok.  I finally found the courage to stand up to the person who has been abusing and manipulating me the past two years.  I have been so ashamed of what my life had become that I let this go on and because I knew that he would make sure that when I do take a stand that I have nothing left to keep me afloat.

Not only was I his mistress I was working for him, driving his car, keeping his secrets and basically being his slave.  Falling deeper and deeper into depression and addiction I began to think that death was my only option to stop the pain that was overpowering my life.  He told me that I should go suck some niggars dick for a free gun to kill myself with.  If I didn’t want to do that I could take out a life insurance policy and make him the beneficiary and he would do the job himself.  He reminded me daily that he didn’t need me and that he was doing me a favor by showing me unconditional love and by not abandoning me like all the other people in my life.  True I have had to endure a lot of pain and my need and want for love in my life has left me vulnerable therefore allowing people to take advantage of me and abandoning me only after taking what they wanted and leaving me when I was of no use to them.

So every single time I climb back up to the top some evil villan sneaks into my life in a time of weakness and before I realize it I am back at the bottom again.   Exhausted from climbing and ashamed of repeating this mistake I have no one to turn to for help and to be honest don’t want to spend my life accepting handouts.  I want something bigger than that.  Im tired of climbing and really cant endure the pain of another fall to the bottom.  With only negative influences in your life it can get very dark and lonely.  I know im not the only girl crying right now because I am torn between survival or taking a stand against the abuser who is using survival to play mind games with you to keep you down and make you think that you have no other options.

I definitely think that there isn’t enough being done to help women who need time to heal from the abuse instead of being knocked down over and forced to go all the way back to the beginning and climb back up.  Why not pay for a locksmith and new phone number to help these girls. I know because you know they might let the abuser back in… true, I know my landlord changed my locks more than once.  Why should these women always be forced to leave their home and go to shelter why not assist them without knocking them backwards?  Maybe if there were options that allowed them to get help and keep some dignity more people would have the courage to get away from their abuser.

Because I said to my abuser that he will never talk to me like that again and no giving in to his demands I also lost my job, transportation and all means to pay rent, electric, phone and internet bills and having no money for food.  Now with no money coming in you must come up with a plan to keep a roof over your head and starting over while trying to heal from the nightmare you have escaped from.   Those are totally unrealistic expectations and no one should ever have to feel that helpless and have no where to turn for help.

I want to do something that puts me in a position to never have to start at the beginning ever again.  I want to do something to help other women my position.  I don’t want to be rich I want to pay my rent on my own with no unconditional conditions hanging over my head.  I want to create awareness that this is a serious issue.  I want to sell gift baskets that were put together in honor of a woman who has inspired me and sell them for profit to help me and every other person we can survive and overcome abuse allowing them the opportunity to heal and stop the cycle of abuse by learning how to change your life for the last time allowing your life story to have a happy ending.

To get the ball rolling I am going to take responsibility for my actions and then do whatever I can to help my situation.  I will apologize to the woman who is also left in the same desperate situation that I am due to the abuse from the same man.  I will do what I can to make someone listen to my story and find solutions to overcoming this situation by giving back and not feeling like I haven’t gone down without a fight.  I will have a moving sale and sell everything I have, take orders for gift baskets and split the proceeds with other person that has suffered from the abuse that I have and has been left in the same dilemma that I have been left in with two children to worry about.

I don’t know what else to do but this is a cry for help, a mentor, something to allow the resources to survive and empower others to take control of a bad situation and make it have a happy ending.   If there is someone who can offer advice, be a mentor or help in any way it would be most appreciated.

Im tired of being a victim. I believe in magic and I think that women really do have superpowers and although my beliefs are a bit childish and unrealistic they are the things that allowed me the strength to write to you today.

Carla Miloszewski,

Blog        http://mediocritymockery.com

Phone    9725714329

Email      carlamilo@yahoo.com