Recession Surviving for the Realistic…Or Desperate
11 Feb
Tired of being unemployed? Tried everything you could think of to generate extra cash? Have you sent out your resumé to your friends, family and anyone else you know so many times that it seriously affected your social life?
If you don’t think outside the box you’re going to start running out of people to borrow money from… here are a few ideas that could realistically supplement your weekly unemployment wage that doesn’t even cover your rent. A girl has to get her roots done, right?
1. Start your own “Charity Organization”
Throw together a blog or a website and add a paypal button and you’re all set. Make sure you don’t go too over the top with your charity. You don’t want to generate too much PR for yourself, just enough to generate some donations without getting into hot water.
2. Sign up for Free Prescription Programs with all the Major Pharmaceutical Companies
You can get up to a years’ worth of free drugs directly from the pharmaceutical company just by filling out some forms and proving you’re a broke loser. Its just like Comedian Chris Rock said about drugs, “People don’t sell drugs. Drugs sell themselves. That’s all I’m going to say…
3. Trade Sexual Favors for Drugs from Your Drug Dealer
You can get your drugs for free and boost up your social life at the same time. This is a good set up IF you can find it You can keep the drugs and hope they help you through this tough economy or you can use them to generate some extra cash. (see tip 4).
4. Have a “Bake Sale” in Any Suburban Neighborhood – Soccer Moms Go Crazy for Delicious Afternoon Snacks for Mom’s only
You’ll be rolling in cash if you can pull this one off. Popular treats can include any special recipe that looks appealing and has a little bit of “kick” that every soccer mom needs in the afternoon. Some highly recommended tops sellers (that we heard about).
- A la Peanut Butter and Crack Sandwiches
- Meth Milkshakes
- GHB Slurpee
- Magic Mushroom Chocolate Kisses
- Adderall Apple Pie
5. Crash Corporate Conferences and/or Trade-shows
You need to eat. You want good food. Most corporate functions have a fully loaded buffet and sometimes if you’re lucky even an open bar. People in corporate America hate attending those events and are usually not very eager to make friends so you should be able to be in and out with no problem. Be sure to take some business cards and resumes with you– it could be you’re lucky day.
One more thing… make sure not to dress like you’re unemployed. I once crashed a Michael Kors Company Christmas party with my roommate and we got busted because everyone was wearing black and I had on a purple dress with red boots…
Details.
Happy Job Hunting.
XOXO
Tags: chris rock, desperate times, drugs, michael kors, Recession, survive the recession
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XO
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