ANT FEST Seeks Edgy, Fresh Stage Performers
Posted by Carla Milo on November 7, 2009
Posted in AB FAB, comedy | Tagged: ant fest, edgy, edgy performers, fresh, performers | Leave a Comment »
Richmond Shepard & Leslie E. Hughes in LORD BUCKLEY & MARILYN At The Richmond Shepard Theater 11/4-28 2009/10/27
Posted by Carla Milo on November 6, 2009
If you are in NYC go see my fabulous friend in her new play… Don’t hold it against her (or me) if you are one of the chosen ones called to the stage, forced to wear funny hats while being a human puppet for Lord Buckley during the first act. You know I adore being a puppet for any man especially while wearing a hat that reminds me of BLOSSOM.
Don’t say I didnt warn you…Boop-boop-a-doop, boop-boop-a-doop!
LORD BUCKLEY
AND MARILYN
In riffs by the master of the “Hip Semantic”– a taste of the wit and brilliance of Lord Buckley, plus Will Manus’s play “Marilyn’s 2 Chance,” which explores “What if Marilyn had survived, lived for years in obscurity, and has decided to audition to play the lead in Tennessee Williams’ “Orpheus Descending” on Broadway”?Playdates:
Richmond Shepard Theatre
309 E. 26 St. at 2 Ave.For More Information Click Link Below:
Some Marilyn Monroe Quotes To Get You In The Mood:
- People respect you because they feel you’ve survived hard times and endured, and although you’ve become famous, you haven’t become phony.
- Creativity has got to start with humanity and when you’re a human being, you feel, you suffer.
- Dogs never bite me. Just humans.
- I’ve never dropped anyone I believed in.
- If I’d observed all the rules, I’d never have got anywhere.
Posted in NYC, comedy | Tagged: Broadway, Leslie e hughes, leslie hughes, lord buckley, marilyn monroe, Orpheus Descending, richmond shepard, Richmond Shepard Theater | Leave a Comment »
You’ve Been Laid Off. Now What?
Posted by Carla Milo on October 24, 2009
You’ve Been Laid Off. Now What?
Posted using ShareThis
I’m so important – even when I’m unemployed. [rolls eyes]
Seriously, dont be jealous about my “big” Good Housekeeping interview. [cough, choke, gag]
No one can compete with my pathetic-ness.
Posted in My Mediocre Life, NYC, Recession, Texas, Unemployment | Tagged: good housekeeping, kate ashford, laid off, unemployed | Leave a Comment »
NYC Area Halloween Pet Events – Well SOME of them…Happy Halloween
Posted by Carla Milo on October 16, 2009
NYC Area Halloween Pet Events
Costumes are Important
October 10 – Manhattan
HOSTED BY: ASPCA / AC&C / Mayor’s Alliance for NYC’s Animals
EVENT: Central Park Fall Fiesta New York Week for the Animals Kick-Off Event
WHEN: Saturday, October 10, 2009 from 7 a.m. To 4 p.m.
WHERE: 110th Street and Malcolm X Boulevard, Harlem
THEME: Free spay/neuter, vaccinations, microchipping, Ask the vet, ask the trainer & ask the groomer
Information tables, adoptions, music, giveaways, photo ops & snacks
COST: Free and open to the public
MORE INFO: See Invite or Press Release
October 10 – Huntington
HOSTED BY: League for Animal Protection of Huntington
EVENT: Huntington Fall Festival
WHEN: Saturday, October 10, 2009 from 11:00 a.m.–6:00 p.m.
WHERE: Heckscher Park , Huntington Village, Huntington, NY
THEME: Adoption
COST: Free and open to the public
MORE INFO: http://www.laphuntington.org
October 10–18, 2009 NYC
Animal World USA: 1st Annual New York Week for the Animals for the details go to their site.
www.newyorkanimals.org
October 11 – Long island
HOSTED BY: Herding Dog Rescue / J. Michaels Photography
EVENT: Portrait Photo Fundraiser
WHEN: Sunday, October 11, 2009 from Noon–5:00 p.m.
WHERE: J. Michaels Photography, 71 North Park Avenue, Rockville Centre, Long Island, NY
THEME: Holiday Photo Portrait Packages by Appointment Only
COST: Digital package $85; printed package $70 proceeds benefit Herding Dog Rescue
MORE INFO: Contact Deb Miller at (631) 924-3838 or (516) 647-6189.
http://www.animalalliancenyc.org/events/herdingdogphotos2009.pdf
October 14 – Manhattan
HOSTED BY: Friends of Animal Rescue
EVENT: Cocktail Benefit Reception Honoring Jill Rappaport
WHEN: Wednesday, October 14, 2009 from 6:00–9:00 p.m.
WHERE: Peter Tunney Gallery, 13 Crosby Street, Manhattan
THEME: Special reception with cocktail and hors d’oeuvres honoring Jill Rappaport, Today Show correspondent and animal crusader with special guest Francis Battista, co- founder of Best Friends Animal Society
COST: Tickets are $200 (tax-deductible) proceeds benefit Friends of Animal Rescue
MORE INFO: Katy Hansen at katy@friendsofanimalrescue.com
http://www.friendsofanimalrescue.com
October 15 – Manhattan
HOSTED BY: Ready New York
EVENT: Emergency Preparedness Pet Event
WHEN: Thursday, October 15, 2009 from 4:00–8:00 p.m.
WHERE: Union Square Park, Manhattan
THEME: What can you do to prepare them for pet emergencies? This event has demonstrations AND giveaways
COST: Low-cost microchipping for dogs and cats ($25, by Mayor’s Alliance for NYC Animals
MORE INFO: http://www.animalalliancenyc.org/new/events/PetEmergency2009.pdf
October 15 – Manhattan
HOSTED BY: Metropolitan Dog Club
EVENT: Goodbye Screening & Discussion
WHEN: Thursday, October 15, 2009 from 6:30–8:30 p.m.
WHERE: Metropolitan Republican Club, 122 E 83rd St (btn Lexington & Park Ave), Manhattan
THEME: Short film about the effects of technology on our most important relationships followed by an open discussion about the way our lives and our dogs’ lives have changed in the 21st Century wine and hors d’oeuvres will be served (to make you forget all about being seen at a republican club)
COST: Admission is $25 for members, $30 for non-members (oh, and uh… I don’t get this but “unfortunately, furry friends are not invited” based on the main topic of this event I think your crackberry should be unfortunately, not invited but thats just my two cents)
MORE INFO: Charlotte Reed at (212) 465-3184 or events@metropolitandogclub.com, or visit the web site http://www.metropolitandogclub.com/events.html
October 15 – Manhattan
HOSTED BY: Bideawee
EVENT: Dogs in Disguise
WHEN: Thursday, October 15, 2009 from 6:30–8:00 p.m.
WHERE: Village Nursing Home, 607 Hudson Street, Manhattan
THEME: Halloween themed event provides people and pets the chance to show off their alter egos and all money raised benefits the cats and dogs waiting to be adopted
COST: $10 donation for humans, $5 for each furry companion. Pre-registration is required to compete in the costume contest and they advise you to bring your friendly furry, fuzzy, and scaly friends in costume (blow off that lame republican event – I wasnt going to post it but if I didn’t who would I make snide comments about)
MORE INFO: Lauren at (646) 619-7239 or lauren.bonanno@bideawee.org, or visit the web site http://www.bideawee.org/events/upcoming_events/viewEvent.php?event_id=244
October 17 – Manhattan
HOSTED BY: American Kennel Club / Cat Fanciers’ Association / PetPartners
EVENT: Meet the Breeds -160 dog breeds and 41 cat breeds
WHEN: Saturday, October 17, 2009 from 10:00 a.m.–5:00 p.m.
WHERE: Jacob K. Javits Convention Center, 655 West 34th Street, Manhattan
THEME: “Meet the Breeds” by petting the dogs, cats, puppies, and kittens & much more
COST: Adult tickets $10 in advance, $12 at the door. Kids $6 in advance, $8 at the door
MORE INFO: For more information, visit the American Kennel Club web site http://www.akc.org/ meet_the_breeds/
October 18 – Manhattan
HOSTED BY: NYC Brussels Griffon and Affenpinscher Meetup
EVENT: Brussels Griffon & Affenpinscher Halloween Party
WHEN: Sunday, October 18th from 2:00 p.m. – 4:00 p.m.
WHERE: Animal Haven Soho 251 Centre Street btwn. Broome & Grand Sts.
THEME: Halloween Party
COST: n/a (check w/ meetup group for details)
MORE INFO: http://www.meetup.com/nycgriffons/
October 18 – Manhattan
HOSTED BY: New York Dog Spa & Hotel
EVENT: “Pets In The City” Designer trunk show
WHEN: Sunday, October 18th from 1:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m.
WHERE: Dog Spa Chelsea 32 West 25th Street btwn. 6th & Broadway
THEME: Meet the Designer, Shop, Gifts, Prizes & Raffle
COST: n/a
MORE INFO: Chi Wow Wow
October 18 – Manhattan
HOSTED BY: Boston Terrier Meetup Group
EVENT: Boston Terrier Halloween Meetup
WHEN: Sunday, October 18th from 2:00 p.m – 4:00 p.m.
WHERE: Madison Sq. Park East 24th Street & Fifth Avenue
THEME: October’s “Ghoulishly Good” Meetup
COST: n/a (check w/ meetup group for details)
MORE INFO: NYC Boston Terrier Meetup Group
October 18 – Greenwich, CT
HOSTED BY: Adopt-A-Dog
EVENT: 22nd Annual Puttin’ On the Dog Show and Festival
WHEN: Sunday, October 18, 2009 from 10:00 a.m.–5:00 p.m.
WHERE: Roger Sherman Baldwin Park, Greenwich, CT
THEME: Dog show and parade with silent auction, vendor booths, shopping, dog/cat adoption face painting and raffles
COST: All-day admission is $10 for adults, $5 for seniors and children over 5, and free for children 5 or younger
MORE INFO: To enter a dog in the show, contact Adopt-A-Dog at (914) 273-1674 x3 or (203) 629-9494 x3 or visit the Adopt-A-Dog web site
October 18 – Manhattan
HOSTED BY: Time Square Alliance
EVENT: Fifth Annual DOG DAY MASQUERADE 2009
WHEN: Sunday, October 18, 2009 from 1pm-3pm
WHERE: The new Broadway plaza between 43rd and 44th Streets.
THEME: Canine Costume Contest (costumes must represent Times Square past or present) to raise awareness for Animal Haven
COST: Free – PRE-REGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN
MORE INFO: Dog Day Masquerade
Oct 23-25 – Las Vegas, NV
HOSTED BY: Best Friends Animal Society
EVENT: No More Homeless Pets Conference
WHEN: October 23–25, 2009
WHERE: Rio All-Suite Hotel and Casino, Las Vegas, NV
THEME: Animal Welfare & Homeless Pet Programs
COST: $325 (or $275 before September 14)
MORE INFO: For more information or to register, visit the Best Friends Animal Society web site
October 24 – New Haven, CT
HOSTED BY: Bikers Against Animal Cruelty / The Friends of the New Haven Animal Shelter / Hot Water Rescue / LoveThyPitBull.com
EVENT: CT National Pit Bull Awareness Day
WHEN: Saturday, October 24, 2009 from 11:00 a.m.–3:00 p.m.
WHERE: Edgerton Park, Edgehill Road, New Haven, CT
THEME: Celebrating Pit Bull breeds & owners with a fashion show, costume contest and more
COST:
MORE INFO: CT National Pit Bull Awareness Day at (203) 407-8304, or visit their web site
October 24 – Manhattan
HOSTED BY: Posh Pets Rescue (they LOVE everyone – singles, couples, dogs and cats)
EVENT: Halloween Fundraiser (they even buy your first drink POSH PETS RULES)
WHEN: Saturday, October 24, 2009 from 1:00–5:00 p.m.
WHERE: Boat Basin Café, West 79th St Marina, Riverside Drive and West 79th St, Manhattan
THEME: Most Creative Costume Contest AND cute boys from Recuse Inc
COST: Tickets are $30 in advance, or $40 at the door Raffle tickets are $5 each, or 5 for $20 – Cash bar, complimentary buffet for humans and treats for the dogs, too!
MORE INFO: For more information or to purchase tickets, visit the Posh Pets Rescue web site
October 24 – Brooklyn
HOSTED BY: Veterinary Pet Insurance (VPI)
EVENT: The New York 3rd Annual VPI K9K Pet Cancer Awareness Walk
WHEN: Saturday, October 24 9:00 a.m.–Check-in/registration 10:00 a.m.–Walk begins
WHERE: Cadman Plaza Park (base of Brooklyn Bridge), Brooklyn
THEME: Pet owners and canines will walk in unison to help raise money for the Animal Cancer
COST: Registration is $25 before October 1, $30 after
MORE INFO: For more information or to register, visit the Veterinary Pet Insurance (VPI) web site
October 24 – Manhattan
HOSTED BY: Tompkins Square Dog Run
EVENT: 19th Annual Tompkins Square Park Dog Halloween Parade
WHEN: Saturday, October 24th, 2009 from Noon to 3:00 pm
(rain date is Sunday, October 25th, 2009)
WHERE: Tompkins Square Park near the entrance at 9th St. and Ave. A. Take the L to 1st Ave
THEME: Pooches will be competing for thousands of dollars in prizes (categories include Best in Show, Best Owner & Dog Costume, and Best Trick)
COST: Price of admission is a $5 raffle ticket
MORE INFO: www.FirstRunFriends.org
October 25 – Manhattan
HOSTED BY: New York Dog Spa & Hotel
EVENT: Annual Halloween Party The Mayor’s Alliance for NYC’s Animals
WHEN: October 25, 2009 from 4pm to 7pm
WHERE: 415 East 91st Street New York
THEME: Free food, beer, wine, soft drinks, treats for the dogs * Dogs and Kids Welcome. Come in Costume. Matching costumes even better!
COST: Free- but donations encouraged
MORE INFO: please call 212-410-1755 or email nydogspa@aol.com
October 25 – stroudsburg
HOSTED BY: Awsom Animals
EVENT: The Haute Dog Fashion Show and Luncheon
WHEN: October 25 at 1pm
WHERE: Cherry Valley Bistro Route 191, Stroudsburg
THEME: Luncheon with fashions to follow
COST: $32 per person seating is limited for this one of a kind event!
MORE INFO: Contact info@awsomanimals.org
October 27 – Manhattan
HOSTED BY: Glen Wild Animal Rescue
EVENT: Unleashed! Cocktail Party & Auction
WHEN: Tuesday, October 27, 2009 from 6:00–9:00 p.m.
WHERE: Country, Carlton Hotel, 90 Madison Avenue (at 29th Street), Manhattan
THEME: Fine wines and premium liquors, hot and cold hors d’oeuvres, and assorted sweets – Live Auction – Silent Auction – Raffle and so much more
COST: Tickets are $150
MORE INFO: For more information or to reserve your tickets, contact Barry at (212) 947-9040 or bfkarlin@sviba.com, or visit the Glen Wild Animal Rescue web site.
October 29 – Queens
HOSTED BY: Bobbi & the Strays
EVENT: Halloween Masquerade Ball
WHEN: Thursday, October 29, 2009 at 7:00 p.m.
WHERE: Russo’s on the Bay, 162-45 Crossbay Boulevard, Howard Beach, Queens
THEME: Dinner, beverages (unlimited beer, wine, and soda), music, dancing, costume contest, live auction, raffles
COST: Advance tickets are $100 per person
MORE INFO: Call Bobbi to reserve tickets and tables at 718-845-0779 or 917-213-9840 or info@bobbicares.org, or visit the Bobbi & the Strays web site
October 30 – White Plains
HOSTED BY: SPCA of Westchester
EVENT: “Top Hat & Cocktails” Benefit Event
WHEN: Friday, October 30, 2009 from 7:00–9:30 p.m.
WHERE: Ritz-Carlton, 3 Renaissance Square, White Plains, NY
THEME: Guests and canine companions (dressed in Halloween costumes)step out in style to support the SPCA enjoy hors d’oeuvres, cocktails, silent auction, professional photographs, gourmet dog treats and a Canine Ice Cream Bar.
COST: Tickets are $150
MORE INFO: To reserve tickets, contact Lisa at (914) 941-2896 x22 or lisa@spca914.org, or vist the SPCA of Westchester web site
October 31 – Brooklyn
HOSTED BY: District Dog Brooklyn
EVENT: District Dog’s 3rd Annual Halloween Parade
WHEN: Saturday, October 31st! at 1pm
WHERE: McGolrick Park
THEME: Dress Your Name” be ready for some great costumes inspired by dog names
COST: n/a
MORE INFO: District Dog Website
Posted in Dogs, Good Deeds and Charity, NYC, Pet Fashion | Tagged: Affenpinscher, american kennel club, Animal Cancer, Animal Haven, animal haven soho, ASPCA, Best Friends Animal Society, bideawee, Boston Terrier, Boston Terrier Halloween Meetup, Brussels Griffon, Canine Costume Contest, Chi Wow Wow, chihuahua nation, Designer trunk show, District Dog, District Dog Annual Halloween Parade, DOG DAY MASQUERADE 2009, dog events nyc 2009 halloween, Dog Parade, Friends of animal rescue, Glen Wild Animal Rescue, halloween 2009, Halloween dog parade, halloween nyc 2009, Halloween Parties 2009 NYC, halloween party, Hallowen for pets 2009, low cost microchipping nyc, Mayors Alliance for NYC Animals, National Pit Bull Awareness, new york dog spa and hotel, NYC 2009, NYC ADOPTION EVENTS, NYC Affenpinscher, NYC Boston Terrier, NYC Brussels Griffon, NYC Brussels Griffon and Affenpinscher Meetup, nyc chihuahua, NYC pet events 2009, Pet Costumes 2009, Pets in the city, Pit bull awareness day 2009, posh pets rescue, Times Square Alliance, Tompkins Square Dog Run, Tompkins Square Halloween Parade, VPI | 2 Comments »
Drug-Detecting Lip Gloss? Why Is It That I’m Unemployed But There Are Plenty of Jobs for Un-Fun Morons?
Posted by Carla Milo on October 14, 2009
I was reading this blog about this “drug detecting seductive lip plumping lip gloss” and all I can say is the world is a lot scarier place than I thought it was. Maybe if this lip gloss wasnt marketed as seductive then I could take it a little more seriously… I think its a perfectly good idea go out boozing it up with your best dick sucking lips on and then flaunt those lips to a bunch of horny drunk guys. You dont even need that lip gloss to make those drunk guys pay attention to you in the first place.
Clearly a real marketing brainiac came up with the marketing plan for this product… It boggles my mind that this person has a job and I’m unemployed.
So according to this article you’re going to use your lip gloss to detect if any of the drunk horny guys at the bar put something in your drink he just purchased for you – oh hark let me consult with my lip gloss before I can accept this drink from you. So do you wait to thank him for the drink until after the drink passes the seductive lip gloss test? Lame. Seriously – someone needs to get a life.
A. I would lose my drug-detecting lip gloss after three tequila shots.
B. I WELCOME free drugs to be dropped in my drink – there is a recession going on and drugs are expensive.
C. You shouldnt be allowed in a bar if you aren’t smart enough to watch that no one puts anything in your drink. Anyone who is really going to do this doesnt have much game in the first place. I know I wouldnt waste my good drugs on something unless it was a sure thing.
D. If you are actually going to consult your lip gloss at a bar to see if there are illegal drugs in your drink then why not wear a neon sign with an arrow asking for trouble. You make yourself a target by doing something that cheesy. And you should be embarrassed…
E. What ever happened to going out with your Wing-Woman? You know that girlfriend who you watch out for and she watches out for you?
Wingwoman (from urbandictionary.com)
The female equivalent of the wingman, and the girls who are the targets of wingmandom. The wingwomen are frequently spotted around the queen bee, the girls that comparatively make the head woman look better than she actually does.
Check the product out for yourself…
2 Love My Lips, a British beauty brand, has just come out with a line of lip glosses ($16 each) with an unusual twist: its packaging includes a card that detects GHB and ketamine, so women can test their drinks for date rape drugs. The idea is to help women feel safer in social situations where someone could spike the drink.
I’m all for anything that helps women feel safer and in control of a situation, but the juxtaposition of sexy lip gloss and rape feels a bit . . . off. More importantly, though, the tester doesn’t work with drinks that incorporate certain fruit juices, milk, oily liqueurs, or tonic water. It doesn’t detect the presence of Rohypnol, either. (Drink Detective does.) Still, seeing the gloss in your purse could serve as a reminder to protect your drink and trust your instincts around strangers — which is never a bad thing. Even with its limitations, would you buy this gloss?
Drink Safe and Stay in Control Guide
2 Love My Lips Is Every Girls Handbag Must Have
Hopefully girls you will never need to use our spike detector kit as this is not designed to be used with every drink! This is to be used when you are unsure and your instincts tell you something is wrong
2 LOVE MY LIPS DRINK SAFE & STAY IN CONTROL GUIDE
• You have started you night looking fab dressed to impress
• Stay in control alcohol impairs judgement
• Watch your drink at all times
• Trust your own instincts, if you feel something is wrong, let someone you trust know
• Do not consume a drink, which has been left unattended
• Buy your own drink – it’s not just strangers who spike drinks
• Pre-book your taxi
• If you’re out with your friends all go home together
• If a friend/anybody is unconscious, place them in the recovery position – get help – they may require medical attention.
• THINK BEFORE DRINK THINKS FOR YOUSELFCHECK PLEASE READ CAREFULLY
• Carry out your test in a well lit area
• The card contains two tests; each test contains two test spots indicated by a circle at each end of the strip
• Place a drop of your drink onto both control spots on each end of the strip
• Smear each drop gently over the circle, DO NOT MIX the chemicals from each spot together: use separate fingers
• Wait until the card is fully dry.
• If either spot turns to a (DARK BLUE), GHB and/or KETAMINE may have been detected.WHAT CAN BE DETECTED
The 2 love my lips Detector is designed to identify the presence of Gamma hydroxy butyrate (GHB) and Ketamine in drinks in concentrations likely to have an effect on the health and welfare of the consumer. The Detector may identify other substances but will not detect Rohypnol. Please note that substances other than GHB and Ketamine may render persons incapacitated.ON WHAT DRINKS DOES THE DETECTOR WORK
The Detector is known to operate on the followNon- Alcoholic & Soft drinks
Apple, Grapefruit, Orange and Cranberry juice
Coca-Cola- 7-up- Pepsi- Red Bull- Vitamin water
Tea- CoffeeAlcoholic beverages
Beers – Straight Spirits – Wine – ChampagneHow to test your drink
Using a swizzle stick, a straw or even your finger, place a drop of your drink onto the 2 test cards rub gently wait a few seconds until it dries. If either test circle changes to a DARKER BLUE COLOUR it signals that your drink is contaminated and you should either inform the manager or contact the local police. Your drink should either be retained for further examination by the police or be DISCARDED IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!THE RESULTS OF THE DRINK SPIKE DETECTOR ARE FOR PERSONAL USE AND INFORMATION PURPOSES ONLY. THE SUPPLIER CANNOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE CONSEQUENCES OF OR ACTIONS TAKEN AS A RESULT OF A POSITIVE TEST, OR FOR ANY USE OF THE DETECTOR OTHER THAN IN ACCORDANCE WITH THIS INFORMATION LEAFLET
ALWAYS USE COMMON SENSE AND DONT LET ANYONE OR ANYTHING LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY
NOT TO BE USED WITH WINE PRODUCTS CONTAINING MILK OR OTHER BEVERAGES CONTAINING MILK, CREAM OR OILY LIQUEURES, OR TONIC WATER, OR FRUIT JUICES IF NOT MENTIONED ABOVE 2 LOVE MY LIPS DRINK DETECTOR IS ONLY A GUIDE PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOUR SELF. STAY LOOKING GORGEOUS THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT!
Posted in Beauty, Dating, Recession, Unemployment | Tagged: 2 love my lips, bellasugar, date rape drugs, drink detective, drug detecting lip gloss, GHB, Ketamine, lame product marketing, lip gloss, marketing, marketing that sucks, rohypnol | Leave a Comment »
Ridiculous Ways Men Get Women To Go Home With Them
Posted by Carla Milo on October 11, 2009
I’ve been single for a while and its been a couple/few years since I have gone on a date. I was thinking about why I dont date… It’s because I dont like it. I’m over putting forth effort and then getting nothing in return. I’m not changing my religious beliefs, past, political views, style, traditions, friends, etc. just to “land a man”. Oh yeah, and I am definitely not ever going to willingly share a bathroom with one.
Gross. I’d rather live alone with my dog and get one of those huge dildos that suction right on to the side of your bathtub/shower.
Just in case…
How to Use a Suction-Based Dildo | eHow.com
Shared via AddThis
Dating is all about the gimmick. Its marketing – I associate marketing gimmicks with CORPORATE AMERICA. I hate Corporate America. I refuse to allow their traditional marketing methods have any kind of influence over personal relationships in my life and you shouldn’t either.
Is this another form of Corporate Brainwashing?
Think about it… when you first meet someone its your A game all the way… then slowly real life takes up too much of your time and eventually you just become another giant asshole.
Sorry but its the truth.
I think the only thing that can really hold the relationship together is charm. That is of course, if you actually have charm and you didnt use that as one of your gimmicks then maybe, just maybe you can hold it together. Even amazing sex cant keep the relationship together – it can for a while but in the end one of you will just have to move to another state or something. Once you find good quality replacement sex you will be fine.
How often do you meet someone who you find charming? By charming I mean you really like them (not because of his car, status, net worth, your stupid girl checklist for your perfect man, connections, car, etc). If someone is charming you can fall in love with them over and over again. Think about it…
Read this article. He wouldnt win me over. These guys arent even coming up with good creative gimmicks. Ill get to the girl side of this another time.
Ridiculous Ways Men Get Women To Go Home With Them
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Posted in Chronic Complaining, Dating | Tagged: birth control patch, charm, charm the pants off, checklist for the perfect man, Dating, dildo, Eden Fantasys, EdenFantasys, foosball, gimmicks, id rather watch paint dry than go on a date, land a man, manners, masturbation, penis, phallus, relationship gimmicks, relationships, spending the night together, stay single, suction dildo, turn on | Leave a Comment »
You Can Go Your Own Way
Posted by Carla Milo on October 9, 2009
Tired of sitting in traffic?
Try taking the High Road once in a while. Not that many people use this road but thats because there are no short cuts.
Everyone knows short cuts arent ever really that SHORT.
…You can call it another lonely day.
Posted in Dating, My Mediocre Life | Tagged: cheat, fake, go your own way, hypocrite, liar, short cut, stuck in traffic, traffic | Leave a Comment »
Unique Vintage is My NEW CRACK
Posted by Carla Milo on October 7, 2009
OMG.
This is my new favorite website.
FABULOUS DRESSES GALORE.
Check it out LADIES (not beasts).
Unique Vintage Is MY New Crack.
Hours of fun… I swear.
XOXO
Posted in AB FAB, Fashion | Tagged: dresses, fabulous dresses, my new crack, Unique Vintage | Leave a Comment »
Welcome Wagon in New Hood & First Improv Class
Posted by Carla Milo on October 4, 2009
OCTOBER 2 2009
I am on the J train on the way back to Brooklyn. I just finished my first class at UBC. At first I was very certain I was gonna hate it but now I think its exactly what I need.
I was ten min late for my class, of course. While I was running to the subway Some nice neighborhood black guys welcomed me (whitey) to the hood. I smiled waved and blew them a kiss. There are very few white people in my friends neighborhood but its cool, interesting and definitely fraternity brother free. I look REALLY white but I hate white people as much as they do.
During my class it was pointed out that what I was saying was very funny but that I looked down when I was speaking. I think my confidence has definitely been effected buy the events of the past year. I think if anything this class will tremendously help my confidence.
We did lots of different things in groups and I feel like im the weirdo as usual. I love the guy who is teaching the class. The teacher is super funny. Seems very honest and upfront about what he thinks and how he thinks u are doing.
Im a bit scared of my first walk from the subway to his apt at night being that I glow in the dark and all. However, I haven’t had any problems so far. The best thing about his neighborhood is right when u get off the train there is a Popeye’s chicken. yeah…. biscuits and chicken whenever I have a craving.
Xxoo
Carla
New York!!!! Concrete jungle where dreams are made of, There’s nothing you can’t do, Now you’re in New York!!! These streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you, Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York. -Jay-Z/Alicia Keys
Posted in Comedy School, My Mediocre Life, NYC | Tagged: bed-stuy, brooklyn, chicken and biscuits, improv class, J train, jeff hiller, Popeyes Chicken, subway, UBC, UBC NYC, Upright Citizens Brigade, Upright Citizens Brigade NY, Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, white people | Leave a Comment »
I Have Successfully Escaped From Texas
Posted by Carla Milo on October 4, 2009
September 30 – 5-ish PM
Why do I always get stuck with people who are passive aggressive? I’m in the cab with cab driver 1L76. He is going in the opposite direction that I told him to go.
I said BUSHwick Ave. Not FlatBUSH Ave… he doesn’t care there is traffic.
After yelling for the first $12 of my fare he finally turns around. He is not happy. He is driving erratically and is putting the brake and the gas to good use – at the same time. At a stop light a nice man asks him where Bushwick Ave is and the driver tells him how to get to Flatbush Ave. The nice old man promptly tells this cab driver to fuck off and speeds away.
I’m DEFINITELY back in NYC.
I have arrived safely at my friends apartment in Bed-Stuy. It is very cozy and very New York. The neighborhood looks and smells like fall.
Bedford-Stuyvesant (pronounced /ˈstaɪvəsənt/) (also known as Bed-Stuy) is a neighborhood in the central portion of the New York City, USA, borough of Brooklyn.
Is it time to sleep now? I’m exhausted.
Posted in Chronic Complaining, My Mediocre Life, NYC | Tagged: 1L76, bed-stuy, Bedford-Stuyvesant, brooklyn, nyc cab driver, passive agressive | 1 Comment »
