It’s Only Love That Gets You Through (According to Sade)
I was going to get on my soap box this morning but I just dont have any fight in me today. Instead enjoy this song. Its beautiful – I still have it on repeat.
XXOO Carla
Girl you are rich even with nothing And you know tenderness comes from pain It’s amazing how you love And love is kind and love can give And get no gain
It’s down a rugged road you’ve come Though you had every reason You didn’t come undone Somehow you made it to the other side You didn’t suffer in vain
You forgive those who have trespassed against you And you know tenderness comes from pain It’s amazing how you love And love is kind and love can give And love needs no gain
You didn’t suffer in vain You know it’s only love That gets you through Only love, it’s only love It’s only love that gets you through
Decision Making can be Downright Crippling to A Control Freak
Decision Making can be Downright Crippling to A Control Freak
So while reading blogs this morning I found a new one I really love and you should check it out if you have time. In one of the posts “How to Make the Right Decision” the writer asks the following question:
Is it smarter to compromise your happiness and not follow the direction that you want your life to take, all in the name of pragmatism?
I think because of my tendencies to go overboard with my pros and cons lists I sometimes make things much harder on myself. So I will try to put the lists away and actually take action and stop letting fear hold me back.
We’ll see how it goes.
Or I’ll fall flat on my face.
To read more interesting blog posts who clearly has a brain – Check out Pearsonified This blog also claims to be the best damn blog on the planet AND its super fast. Damn this guy for making it to OZ and getting to the Wizard before me… I’m still looking for the yellow brick road. I refuse to accept a rain-check for a brain.
Have a great weekend.
XO
Recession Surviving for the Realistic…Or Desperate
Tired of being unemployed? Tried everything you could think of to generate extra cash? Have you sent out your resumé to your friends, family and anyone else you know so many times that it seriously affected your social life?
If you don’t think outside the box you’re going to start running out of people to borrow money from… here are a few ideas that could realistically supplement your weekly unemployment wage that doesn’t even cover your rent. A girl has to get her roots done, right?
1. Start your own “Charity Organization”
Throw together a blog or a website and add a paypal button and you’re all set. Make sure you don’t go too over the top with your charity. You don’t want to generate too much PR for yourself, just enough to generate some donations without getting into hot water.
2. Sign up for Free Prescription Programs with all the Major Pharmaceutical Companies
You can get up to a years’ worth of free drugs directly from the pharmaceutical company just by filling out some forms and proving you’re a broke loser. Its just like Comedian Chris Rock said about drugs, “People don’t sell drugs. Drugs sell themselves. That’s all I’m going to say…
3. Trade Sexual Favors for Drugs from Your Drug Dealer
You can get your drugs for free and boost up your social life at the same time. This is a good set up IF you can find it You can keep the drugs and hope they help you through this tough economy or you can use them to generate some extra cash. (see tip 4).
4. Have a “Bake Sale” in Any Suburban Neighborhood – Soccer Moms Go Crazy for Delicious Afternoon Snacks for Mom’s only
You’ll be rolling in cash if you can pull this one off. Popular treats can include any special recipe that looks appealing and has a little bit of “kick” that every soccer mom needs in the afternoon. Some highly recommended tops sellers (that we heard about).
- A la Peanut Butter and Crack Sandwiches
- Meth Milkshakes
- GHB Slurpee
- Magic Mushroom Chocolate Kisses
- Adderall Apple Pie
5. Crash Corporate Conferences and/or Trade-shows
You need to eat. You want good food. Most corporate functions have a fully loaded buffet and sometimes if you’re lucky even an open bar. People in corporate America hate attending those events and are usually not very eager to make friends so you should be able to be in and out with no problem. Be sure to take some business cards and resumes with you– it could be you’re lucky day.
One more thing… make sure not to dress like you’re unemployed. I once crashed a Michael Kors Company Christmas party with my roommate and we got busted because everyone was wearing black and I had on a purple dress with red boots…
Details.
Happy Job Hunting.
XOXO
Leashes and Lovers – The Book
Check out this cool new book. Its a must have for any dog lover.
via Leashes and Lovers – The Book.
Dear Carla,
You are in the book by the way – 3 times! That great shot of your legs with Chloe passing by, a beautiful close up shot of you and her, and one of chloe alone! The book launch party is Tues. March 30 – mark it on your calendar. “
Sheryl, Leashes and Lovers
A Good Quote
if you are a talented person and you’re not successful there is probably something inside of you keeping you from being successful and sadly, it might be your talent.
How to make money in a flash? Sell Your body!
How to make money in a flash? Sell Your body!.
Unemployed? Read this blog. Happy Job Hunting.
XOXO
Lame Christmas Gifts Suck. Jonathan Adler Is Not Lame.
Happy Holidays To Me
Happy Holidays to Me
For you bible loving freaks – read slow because I am only saying this once. These rest of you continue drowning your sorrows in that glass of whatever you’re filling it up with this week. This actually doesnt apply to anyone in the Gay Community – you’re holiday festivities are always magically delicious.
So unless you’re Dave Gahan calling… I wont be lifting up the receiver and no, you wont be making me a believer. When I say believer I am referring to anything that is affiliated to faith, religion, celebrating jesus on his birthday, good ole’ holiday traditions and/or holiday cheer.
The holidays 2009 are officially canceled in Carla-Land this year. Why? Because in Carla-Land I make the rules, not you. Yes, I have a bad year and I am still in a recovery phase. The last thing I need is one of you brainwashed breeder types fucking it up.
No, I will not be dressing up like a pilgrim then showing up drunk at your family’s Thanksgiving with Chloe dressed up like a Turkey. Not even in search of the infamous stuffing, not even if you promise to throw in apple pie. Sorry to disappoint you.
Sadly, no, I won’t be sending out cute Christmas cards that you dont even read with Chloe on the front dressed in some christmas themed ensemble. I will not be dressing up like a christmas tree, Mrs. Claus, satan, Rudolph or that kid with the be be gun from A Christmas Story. I wont be busting in during your family’s boring Christmas dinner wasted with one of my friends to make inappropriate comments and to save you from dying from boredom.
All I want is silence. I dont want to hear about all the gifts you are receiving an d the gifts you are giving and how boyfriend might propose to you. Im bored with all of it and I dont care. Sorry.
Im taking this year off.
Until next year when you are all miserable from all that quality family time and fat from eating your feelings and im happy because my pants still button.
Happy Holidays to you. Un-happy holidays to you if your initials are JTG, SCH II, JAJ, AEM, CMS.
XOXO
Why I hate Your Generation
Why I Hate Your Generation
I’m Talking to You Late Teens & Twenty Somethings … What is your Generation Called Anyway? Aside from religious fruit cakes (this includes Alex, the religious ringleader of my family who is technically my father) I have never disliked a group of people as a whole so much.The only reason I don’t altogether hate you is because of
“I’m just trying to change the world one sequin at a time.”~Lady GaGa
- and alright Ill admit to liking MGMT even though they look like hipsters.
The rest of you are the lazy, lame and boring. How am I supposed to be a balanced adult if I cant relive my youth vicariously through you? I don’t give a flying fuck about the scandalous tales from your 6AM yoga class. First of all no one who is cool goes to anything at 6AM except breakfast because you’re still up from the night before. I am not waiting at the edge of my seat to find out what skank in your yoga class is using last seasons yoga mat. Now if it was your yoga mat that she took from your apartment after she let your boyfriend fuck her up the ass on and posted the sex tape online then I’m all ears.
Get a life. Take a chance. Get high. Fall in love. Be irresponsible. Break rules. Eat carbs. Get your own style. Read a book, a real one. Give your last ten dollars to a homeless person. Make friends with people who are different from you. Just because your parents are judgmental assholes doesn’t mean you have to be. They cant help it, they were probably raised by baby boomer’s. Stop trying to get famous by embarrassing yourself on a reality show.
With all that meditating you do I think you should be able to muster up some creativity that you didn’t steal from all the generations before you. I know, I know we were way cooler than you but thats because we rebelled. All the rule breaking and rebellious behavior is necessary in defining your own identity.
There is much more to life than buying stuff. Stop spending your money on tanning unless you are currently in a play which is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory you’re one of the oompa loompas. Stop putting caps on your teeth or whatever it is you are doing, you were prettier before and now you look like a horse. I’m talking to you Amanda Bynes, Hillary Duff and Hedi Montag.
Oh and your religious beliefs you can stick them in same place your boyfriend put his cock in that yoga mat sex tape. Maybe you wouldn’t be so uptight if you actually had sex once in a while. Sex is supposed to be fun. I bet your boyfriend wouldnt have slept with that skank if you didn’t act like a frigid bitch. Well, maybe not… men are animals they have a hard time saying no. Sex and love are two separate things and I think women as a whole need to understand this. Oh, and you men need to stop going around thinking that life is one big porn movie and that you are the Hugh Hefner of the upper east side. Do yourself and us a favor and go visit your grandmother and have her teach you some manners and start treating us the way a man is supposed to treat a lady.
Who cares about your five year plan, don’t you remember that we are all going to die in the end? Why are you so worried about what is going to happen to you when you die? I hate to break it to you but you there is no proof that there is an after life. Why not focus on not being an asshole in this life the life you’re presently living? I know its hard to spend time on something that you cant twitter about without looking uncool. Start off small, look in the mirror. Do you like the person looking back? Get to know yourself. Don’t take those pills your shrink gave you because you’re too young to have all those mental disorders they say you have.
As for me I am old enough to have a variety pack of mental disorders and I cant grow up and let go of my Peter Pan Complex unless you young people step up your game and start acting your age. You have plenty of time to be boring and act my age. I’m tired and I’m ready to pass the torch.
Oh and one more thing… stop fucking up Halloween. Using Halloween as an excuse to dress up like a slut is not creative and you’re ruining Halloween for the rest of us. If you were rebellious like you are supposed to be then you wouldn’t need to adhere to a rule that is clearly the first rule that needs to be broken. Now get busy and show me what you’ve got because I cant fill in for you anymore because there is nothing cool about the creepy old person at the bar hanging on to their youth by a string hanging from their worn out “club one” pants.
Young child with dreams. Dream ev’ry dream on your own.
– Neil Diamond
Older & Wiser? Older & Angrier? Older & Jaded?
I always wondered if and when I was ever going to feel old – well that time has come. When you’re young you envision what your life is going to be like when you reach all the milestone events in life that you are taught to think are important.
At 35 a lot of those events that should’ve, would’ve, could’ve happened have long passed me by. Have I really missed out on anything? Would I feel more “normal”? Would I be “happy”?
I am watching people walk by while I sit here alone having a drink. I am so anti social. I used to never go out alone, now I prefer it… I never left the house without making sure I looked flawless and over the top, now I don’t care. I am a completely different person than I used to be but am I a better person?
I see a girl in a hot pink suit trimmed with fur and heels walk by – I used to be like that girl. Now I look at her and think wow, she’s trying really hard. I don’t know how the hell I did that. I can’t even imagine being able to muster up the energy. I was so full of hope. I felt beautiful. I thought I was was going to have this amazing life. I thought something really special was going to happen to me.
Back to reality…What is reality anyway? I had a better life when I live in la la land. I am so terrified of being hurt that I just can’t, no matter how hard I try even attempt to be the girl I once was. How can you you keep trying when you have failed so many times and have no strength left? Are you supposed to just surrender to a life you have no desire to live? I trapped in the middle this time and dont know which way to go. Try again? Admit that its not in the cards and give up? Then what?
This leads me to the one question that paralyzes me with fear… Am I destined to become my mother?
Thinking about this is almost too much to bear. I feel like I am an outsider and the more I watch the less I want to fit in. Even my Mother got married (several times) and isnt going through life alone. We dont have much of a relationship but I know she isnt happy.
When you are little they tell you that “you can be anything you want” but no one ever bothered to mention all the fine print. If I had been better educated about discrimination, racism, religious persecution, prejudice, sexism, social class, corporate greed, religious persecution and social identity I would have at least had a fighting chance. Learning the hard way means you know the facts and the fact is I don’t think I should be forced to change. I know I’m not an asshole.
This is why I sit here alone. Yes, I am depressed sadness is a normal reaction to pain. If happiness isn’t a chemical imbalance neither is sadness.
“If being sane is thinking there’s something wrong with being different….I’d rather be completely fucking mental.”
~ Angelina Jolie
